Holiday Harmony: 3 Essential Tips for Caregivers of Children with Special Needs

For many, the holidays can be a time of joy, connection, and celebration. But they can also be a time of stress, especially for those of us who are caregivers of children with unique needs like sensory sensitivities or an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) diagnosis. For these families, the change in routine, the uncertainty of new and unusual experiences, or financial and interpersonal stressors (which children pick up on!) can bring out big feelings, and big behaviors. With a few extra tools, caregivers can support children, and themselves, for those moments of strain when the most wonderful time of year starts to feel like anything but.

Put on your own oxygen mask first.

At St. David’s Center, caregivers of children with additional and unique needs are our superheroes. But that doesn’t mean you have to be superhuman too! Taking care of your own fundamental needs is not only an act of care for yourself, it’s part of caring for the children in your life too. As Maslow’s hierarchy of needs depicts, we all need: rest, balanced meals, a sense of safety, belonging, and recognition.

During times of stress like the holidays, it’s important to prioritize getting a good night’s rest, nourishing your body, and carving out time for meaningful connection with those you trust, be it a friend, family member, or partner. When you’re well-rested, well-fed, and feel a sense of community, you’ll be more able to care for those around you, especially in difficult moments.

Meditation: fun for the whole family!

Many of us think of meditation and mindfulness as tools adults use to live fully and manage stress and life’s challenges. But children, especially those who have experienced Adverse Childhood Experiences or need extra support in self-regulation, can benefit from the simple tools of observing one’s breath or sending thoughts of loving-kindness to others. Especially during the season of giving, cultivating kindness and compassion can be a wonderful, non-material way to experience the season of light. We connected with our Chief Clinical Officer Jane Perry and designed this simple Magic Mind Mission, an adaptation of exercises shared by Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hahn in his book Happiness.

Magic Mind Missions

1. Find a Cozy Spot: Help your child find a comfortable place to sit. Encourage them to place one hand on their heart and to feel the warmth of their gentle heartbeat.
2. Think of Someone Special: Guide your child to gently close their eyes, or look down at their lap, and picture someone they really love and who loves them a lot too. This might be a parent, sibling, or a favorite caregiver.
3. Feel the Love: Ask your child how they feel thinking about this person. Do they feel a smile coming on?
4. Send a Loving Thought: Encourage your child to think of something nice to wish for this person to make them smile. It could be wishing for them to find a beautiful leaf, have their favorite snack, or listen to their favorite song, anything!
5. Imagine a ‘Runner Up’ Special Someone: Next, have them think about someone else they care for, who they may not be as close to or who they may not know quite as well. Perhaps a close friend, a grandparent, a cousin, or a teacher. Have them imagine that person’s face and send them a happy thought too.
6. Thinking of Someone They Simply Know: Then, move on to someone they don’t know very well, like the mail carrier, or someone at the grocery store. Help them send a happy or kind thought to this person too. It doesn’t have to be specific.
7. Sending Kindness to Someone Tricky: Lastly, help them think of someone who might have made them frustrated, sad, or angry recently. Guide them to send a happy, generous, or kind thought to this person as well, perhaps wishing them to find happiness today.
8. Feeling Their Heart: Encourage your child to open their eyes and place their hand back on their heart. Ask them if they feel a little lighter or happier. Explain that this is the magic of sharing kindness with others and how it helps us feel calm too.

This exercise is a beautiful way for children to calm their nervous systems, build compassion, manage emotions, and connect positively with the world around them. If you’re looking for more exercises and activities to help children stay calm and connected, even in times of stress, we’ve compiled some other resources where you’ll find more information and ideas here:

18 Mindfulness Games, Worksheets and Activities for Kids

Mindfulness for Kids – Mindful

55 Calming & Fun Mindfulness Activities For Kids

Mindfulness for Kids: How It Works & 17 Activities to Try Together

Doing something new? Try a social story!

Social stories are a tool to help children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and other developmental differences. Social stories provide clear and detailed descriptions of social situations, to help children prepare for new experiences by explaining cues and appropriate responses. Developed by Carol Gray in the early 1990s, social stories have become a widely-used intervention, even here at St. David’s Center. If you’re traveling or attending a performance, gathering, or event with your child, you can write your own social story to help them prepare and to help the experience go as smoothly as possible. It can be useful to share the story a few times in advance of the special occasion, so that children can fully understand what to expect. The use of pictures can also be helpful, especially for those with limited or no verbal communication.

This year, St. David’s Center is the sensory-friendly sponsor at the Santa Claus Lane holiday market, where we are offering sensory-friendly activities, sponsoring sensory friendly hours, and staffing a cozy sensory-break area. We’ve also written a social story to help children prepare, which you can use as an example for your own stories. (And we’d love to see you at Santa Claus Lane!)

Visiting Santa Claus Lane

Hi! My name is River. Today I’m going to the Santa Claus Lane! It’s a special place where we can see beautiful lights, meet Santa, choose gifts to give, and enjoy lots of fun activities

Before We Go: Before we leave home, we’ll get dressed warmly because it might be chilly. We’ll pack a bag with my favorite things like snacks, water, and maybe my headphones and my favorite fidgets. Being cozy and warm and having my fidgets helps me feel comfortable.

Riding the Bus: After my grownups find a place to park, we can choose to walk to the market, or we can take a ride on a school bus! School buses can be loud, but sometimes it can be fun too. I can decide with my grownups what works best for us.

Arriving at the Market: When we arrive, there will be lots of exciting things to see. The market has bright lights and festive music. If it feels too loud or bright, I can wear my headphones or take a break with my family in Rudolph’s Rest Stop. When I feel calm and ready, there is so much to see and do!

Here are some of the Activities to Enjoy:

• Visit Santa: We can visit Santa Claus in his beautiful house, decorated just like we’re at the North Pole. It’s a quiet place where I can give him a smile, a wave, a high-five, or tell Santa about my holiday wishes. The photographers are friendly and will take a beautiful picture for my family to enjoy!
• Help the Elves in Santa’s Workshop: There are lots of arts and crafts that I can try in Santa’s Workshop! I can make playdough, decorate Holiday cookies, or even make a toy!
• Walk with Llamas: Instead of reindeer, Santa has friendly llamas this year! We can take a short walk with them, or pet their fur, which will be fun.
• Magic Show: If we arrive in the morning, there’s a magic show with tricks about snow and candy canes. Sometimes magic shows have surprises: I wonder what they will be! If it gets too noisy, or if I feel uncomfortable, I can step out anytime.
• Move with Creo: In the afternoon we can join in a dance and movement session led by Creo. It can be a time to be happy and shake the sillies out!
• Community Art Installation Build: We can help build an art installation. This is a quieter activity where we can create something beautiful together.
• Fire Show: If I come in the evening, I might see performers doing a special performance with fire. I know they are being safe, but if I feel uncomfortable I can step out.
• Visit Santa’s Market: There are so many shops to visit and fun gifts to choose from in Santa’s Market! I can help my grownups choose gifts for the people we love. I know we can’t take everything home, but it is always fun to look! If I feel overwhelmed I can take a break.

Taking Breaks: If I feel overwhelmed, we can go to “Rudolph’s Rest Stop,” a sensory-friendly space designed for quiet time. We can sit there as long as I need to until I’m ready to have fun again.

Eating at the Market: When we get hungry, there are lots of food trucks with different snacks. We can choose something yummy and eat it in a quiet spot if the food areas are busy.

Time to Go Home: After we have explored and enjoyed, we will head back home. I can talk about my favorite parts of the visit or rest if I’m tired.

Remember: This trip is a special adventure, and it’s okay to have many feelings about it. My family is here to help make sure I have a great time!

With a little extra time, a few extra tools, and lots of deep breaths, we can all find our way through the stressors of the holiday season. And when the going gets tough, that is, when emotions run high, and behaviors get challenging, just remember: you’re not alone! Whether you’re currently a St. David’s Center family or not, we see you, and we are walking alongside you in spirit, every single day.